Wine and 'What If'
by Celestial7
Summary: Cullen and the Inquisitor steal a rare moment away. No spoilers, don't own it, they do grown up things


Trevelyn swirled the remaining wine around her glass watching the torch light glint off of the deep red. It was beautiful, nothing like blood, as poets were wont to wax. She began to tilt the glass back and forth, watching the liquid move, that coupled with the warm buzz of intoxication caused her to lose track of what her Commander had been saying.

"Inquisitior? Are you paying attention" Cullen stopped his monologue mid-sentence having just realized her distraction.

"Cullen are you sure I can't offer you a drink? It's freezing up here, how do you stand this damn office?"

He glanced at the poorly thatched corner of the ceiling and looked sheepishly at her. She was draped low in the chair across from his desk, and if not for the wine she really would have been freezing. She had arrived here late afternoon and had been discussing stratey with her commander far past sundown. In fact she felt perfectly justified in being distracted, she had been engaged for hours before finally requesting access to his vintage.

"Humor me commander or I will have to put you on holiday because you never stop working" she raised her glass to him.

"Alright. I suppose we have been at it for a while. My room upstairs has a fireplace if that would make you more comfortable," his smile upturned slightly and she knew this was the closest the commander would get to making a direct tease.

"You know, I thought I had it bad trucking through deserts and godforsaken swamps, but here you are constantly maintaining the outdoors right here at home" she laughed as she tucked a bottle and glass under her arm and awkwardly proceeded up the ladder to his above apartment. When they arrived she plopped down on the thick rug in front of his fireplace, building up the kindling as he pulled curtains over the windows to keep out Skyholds infamous drafts.

He took over the job of lighting the fire and she filled the glass she had brought up for him.

"Cheers to a future Cullen. One without demons and great green holes in the sky"

They clinked glasses and he drank deeply, polishing off his glass. He put his lips together in the gesture of fine coneisseuir and extened his arm for a refill.

"Maker you were right, I needed that"

They discussed strategy further until they emptied what remained of the Denerim vintage and he pulled another bottle from his collection.

They refilled their glasses, a moment of silence passed as he did so. Maybe it was the buzz of the wine, or maybe it was the glowing embers of the fire but the Inquisitor suddenly didn't feel like talking about Corphyeus any longer. She lay down on the thick carpet, propping herself on one arm and holding her glass in the other. The silence continued and Cullen gave her a strange look, seeming very far away all of a sudden.

"You know Cullen, we haven't spent much time together not talking about war." He muttered agreement in response. He drained another glass very quickly and reached out for another.

"That is very true. I suppose we've both been soldiers all our lives. It makes it hard to speak of other things when in the midst of battle"

She raised her glass in a false cheer.

"True enough Commander. But there are these weeks when I return to Skyhold, and it makes one think"

"About what Inquisitor?"

She was noticing the flush spread across his cheeks, and realized with quite suddenness that she had obtained a very pleasant state of drunkenness.

"Well, about what else we are missing"

"How do you mean?" he had set down his glass and was looking at her now with rapt attention. An steadiness of it sent her head spinning for a moment. A shadow of something began to pass through her, a part of her that she had not thought about in a long time.

"With all this chaos around us, so much riding on the Inquisition, I guess its easy to forget that we're human sometimes" she felt the sad smile come unbidden to her lips.

"Sometimes I like to imagine if I hadn't been at the Conclave, I would have returned to my family, maybe been married by now, I don't know I suppose its silly"

"I don't like thinking of that" Cullen frowned looking very sullen.

"What? You never think of another life than this?"

"No, its not that I just…Maker I'm drunk I shoudn't say" he laughed nervously.

"What?" she laughed and lightly punched him with her glass. He caught her wrist with a sudden movement as if a reaction to an attack. She froze for a moment, startled by his quickness. He took her glass and set it down next to his own, then moved down to lean on one arm as she was doing. They were close now, about a foot away. And she giggled as she thought about how in all the time they had spent together they had never been this close. His face turned very serious all of a sudden.

"I don't like thinking about my life without you in it" he gazed into her eyes as he said it, maintaining that calm steadfastness for which he was so famous.

As if by some force outside of herself she closed the foot gap and kissed him gently. And pulled back to gaze at his face. He continued to look at her calmly, cocking his head a bit with curiosity.

With the wine pumping through her, her head spun in a gleeful haze meeting his tawny gaze. Then his face came towards her, and the next moment she was underneath him feeling the carpet at her back and the weight of him atop her. His mouth on hers, kissing with a deep desperation. She eventually swatted him when she felt almost crushed by his weight and he pulled back panting and looking at her with the expression of a dog who just discovers he's done something wrong. He quickly pulled off of her sitting up.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean…please forgive me Lady, the wine, and I thought…"

She laughed waving her hand to let him know all was well.

"Maker stop apologizing, you were crushing me, that was all" she threw back her head and laughed, and when her eyes finally settled she saw he was sheepishly grinning as well.

"I'm glad you're not offended but that was a ridiculous thing for me to do" he laughed along with her. She sank her chin back onto one hand.

"Absolutely, if that sort of thing continues there will be all sorts of jokes about rewarding my men too much" she grinned mischeviously. Cullen retrieved both of their glasses and handed hers back. They both drained them and poured another round, enjoying the exuberance of being carefree for the first time in a long time.

"Do you mind if I remove my armor Inquisitior? I wouldn't ask but you seem intent on interrupting my alone time" he grinned.

"Be my guest! I have no idea why you where it around the fort anyhow"

She remained seated sipping her glass as he stood and began the process of disarmouring. She watched him shamelessly as he did so. Never before had she noticed how attractive her commander really was. He moved with the authority and grace of a well trained soldier, and she felt the familiar burn in her stomach that hadn't quite faded from their kiss.

"Can I ask you something Cullen?"

As he continued his process he muttered consent.

"If I asked to spend the night with you, would you say yes?"

The movement of clanking metal stopped, and an audible silence filled the chamber.

"Well that depends" he said quietly without turning to look at her.

"On what?" she almost whispered, feeling insecure for the first time this night. He finally turned that glowering steadiness in his gaze again.

"If you wish to have my company…physically I mean. I don't know if you realize it Inquisiter, but I would not be able to resist passing a night with you in my bed, and not trying to make it more than that. I know I could not stand it" he looked down at the floor hiding his expression.

She stood and crossed to him, picking his head up with a finger and leaned in, he took the cue readily kissing her again deeply, but this time slowly, methodically taking his time. Her arms slid around his neck letting him pull her body up fully against his. The singing heat in her stomach grew again, and she knew with complete certainty exactly what she wanted. Cullens hands slid to hold her ass and he lifted her up. She immeadiately responded by wrapping her legs around his lower back, excited by his strength. He walked them both to his bed. Lowering her gently onto her back. He kissed her again then pulled up with that serious expression.

"Inquisitor, what do you command me to do?" he seemed so lost in that moment that her heart melted.

"Say none of that, tonight I want to be a woman, just a woman, and I want you to love me as a man"

"And what if you aren't just a woman to me? What if when you speak of love it is real for me?" he looked at her, sad and hopeful all at once.

"Cullen…I had no idea"

"I didn't want you too. But now I very very much want to show you, I'm tired of hiding"

She smiled and kissed him gently.

"You're right Cullen, I don't want just a man, I want you, I don't know if I feel as you do now, but this…this is certainly a beginning"

He sighed with relief and smiled.

"That is all I ask" and he began to trail kisses down her neck, stopping at the collar of her tunic and laying a kiss after each button her undid. She leaned up pulling the sleeves off of her than lifting the shirt over his head. He fell back onto the bed with her, hands exploring one another with a new found appreciation. They were slow, enjoying thed warmth of each others skin, the fire, and the wine. When they had drank their fill they began to remove the rest of their clothing again, slowly kissing and feeling each part as it was reaveled until they lay naked by one another. Trevlyan guided her Commander to lie down and she sat on his thighs reveling in his body below her own. Their eyes meet again, and they both smiled.

"I must be the luckiest man in the world right now" he reached up a hand to cup her face, she leaned against it and then kissed his fingertips. Before moving her other hand to guide him inside of her. She rubbed the hardness of him against her, feeling herself wetten and widen in anticipation, he watched her do this completely transfixed. Until she drew in the first few inches and his face brightened with bliss, then he loosed a loud moan as his member slid completely into her. She waited a moment there, taking it in, being filled with Cullen, the man who had been so close to her but so far until this moment. A man she trusted, and admired, who had saved her life, and suddenly might become so much more.

Her head fell back in bliss as she rocked against him, letting his length fill her and move causing a wave of pleasure. Her hips began to move rhythmically as her pussy stretched to accomadate all of him, turning quickly from feeling too full to not being full enough. He raised himself to a seating position, wrapping his arms around her lower back, and kissing her breasts as she continued to move, moving just so against him to make waves of electricity course through her body. As she slid down taking him completely in again, he caught her lips in a kiss then drug her down moving on top of her so as not to break contact. He continued to kiss her as he thrust deeply , lingering at her filling point, and taking these oppurtunities to caress her face and body. He set a tortuous place, staying deep and plunging rarelllly, making her desire to have him fuck her hard build and build. She kept moving her hips up to try and get him deeper and sooner, always sooner, she felt she would die if she couldn't get him buried deep in her again.

And suddenly it was gone. Cullen pulled away and was off of her in an instant. Sitting on the edge of the bed. She sat up sweating and breathless.

"What's wrong?" she huffed out become labroued dizzy breaths.

"I'm taking advantage of you. There is no way you would consider me if you weren't drunk, you're too…and I'm not worthy" he didn't look at her but continued to sit on the edge of the bed.

She moved behind him and hugged him closely, holding him tightly, and kissed his shoulder.

"Cullen I have defeated monsters, and demons, and dragons, and I can say with certainty you are the best thing that has happened to me in all this time". He didn't respond.

"If you don't come back here right now and continue, and if for that matter you don't continue to have me in your bed, I actually am going to fire you."

At this he disentangled and turned to face her.

"Then this isn't just for tonight?"

"No Cullen you idiot" she laughed, relieved his gloom.

"Though if you withhold sex any more because of emotional outbursts I will have to reconsider. He leaned back with her embracing her tightly.

"Nothing would make me happier to protect you not only on the field, but as you slept here by my side. I want to serve you in all things"

She kissed him lightly then pulled him back onto her.

"Then leave me satisfied and full of you, tonight and all the nights to come Commander"

"You know they're going to talk"

"Let them" she whispered and pulled him in for another kiss.


End file.
